Fatherhood can have many strange side effects, not the least of which seems to be the inclination to suddenly learn all those little things one has been putting off. When the realization final hits home that there is a little mind to shape — and speaking here completely from anecdotal experience only — the (apparently) bigger mind in one’s own skull is suddenly awash in feelings of inadequacy and ineptitude. All those things a dad is supposed to know — and until we’re teenagers it seems as though dad’s are nothing short of omniscient beings who know just about everything — don’t seem to be as easily accessible in the memory as my gut-feeling implies should be. By this point in my life I am perfectly aware that we fathers are mere humans, but that knowledge hardly eases the impression that I should have been trying to learn just a little bit more over the past thirty-some years. So, in the spare moments that fatherhood allows, what’s a guy to learn?

I’ve been thinking about this a little bit and it follows logically that the more knowledge and ability a dad has on hand, at the ready, and prepared to share knowledge with the brains of which he has been entrusted, the more that dad cements his opinion as a man of wisdom and respect among his children. There is something of a Socratic authority that flows from a position of knowledge and ability and enables our job as a teacher of all things — including and especially critical thinking — to advance from a place of respect and intellect. These are not bits of wisdom one flaunts, but instead things that are at the ready when the questions present themselves. Thus…

The Ever-Learning Dad, Lesson 1

The following are four goals I’m going to be pursuing over the next three months.

1. Learn the names of at least five stars and five constellations, and be able to point them out in the sky. Picture the scenario: you’ve taken the family out of the city for a wilderness trek and some camping under the stars. The campfire is crackling away. You’re roasting s’mores and telling stories. And your daughter looks up into the inky blackness and wonders… you get to extend your arm into the air and say “see that bright one there? That’s Vega. And if you look over that way…”

2. Learn the names of at least ten types of local vegetation and be able to identify them regardless of season. Everyone should have a basic understanding of the wilderness that grows around their local wilderness, whether that’s in a nearby city ravine or deep in the wilds of a national park. I’m surprised at the variety, and wish I had a better understanding of what is growing around me. As a family we have spent (and will continue to spend) lots of time in nature and I’m fairly certain that is going to lead to many questions.

3. Learn to play at least one song well on a musical instrument. We are fortunate enough to have a nice piano at our house and for the six years it has occupied the spaces of my life (the Wife is the pianist, and I humbly offer that I sort of play the saxophone) I have not learned much beyond a few simple melodies. But (and I want to do a longer piece on musical education someday) we’ve decided quite firmly that The Girl will eventually find herself at music lessons, following in her mother’s footsteps, and learning to play piano. And (it seems to me) it wouldn’t be right if dad was the only one in the house who couldn’t tickle the ivories. After all, it’s just like typing, right?

4. Learn to cook a week’s worth of food really well, and find a great dish to turn into your specialty. Any guy who thinks that cooking isn’t a masculine pursuit has spent too much time watching bad movies. Turning raw ingredients — meat, veg, cheese, starches, and spices — into amazing meals is as much science as it is art. Heck, baking is just chemistry — with a very tasty result. A healthy body equates to a healthy mind, and teaching kids to prepare their own food not only makes you look like a mealtime hero, but will set them up for a lifelong nourished mind. I’m not a half-bad cook, but I still depend on recipes and books: it needs to be in the head alone.

I’ll keep readers up to date on the progress of this learning adventure, and come back with a lesson two in a few months. Feel free to comment with your own ideas or progress on similar pursuits. I look forward to your insight.